The Height Of The Ridiculous

Oliver Wendell Holmes

          I WROTE some lines once on a time 
          In wondrous merry mood, 
          And thought, as usual, men would say
          They were exceeding good.

          They were so queer, so very queer, 
          I laughed as I would die;
          Albeit, in the general way, 
          A sober man am I.

          I called my servant, and he came;
          How kind it was of him 
          To mind a slender man like me, 
          He of the mighty limb.

          "These to the printer," I exclaimed, 
          And, in my humorous way, 
          I added, (as a trifling jest,)
          "There'll be the devil to pay." 

          He took the paper, and I watched, 
          And saw him peep within; 
          At the first line he read, his face
          Was all upon the grin.

          He read the next; the grin grew broad, 
          And shot from ear to ear; 
          He read the third; a chuckling noise 
          I now began to hear.

          The fourth; he broke into a roar; 
          The fifth; his waistband split;
          The sixth; he burst five buttons off, 
          And tumbled in a fit.

          Ten days and nights, with sleepless eye, 
          I watched that wretched man, 
          And since, I never dare to write 
          As funny as I can.

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