My Consolation

Robert William Service

‘Nay; I don’t need a hearing aid’
          I told Mama-in-law;
‘For if I had I’d be afraid
          Of your eternal jaw;
Although at me you often shout,
          I’m undisturbed;
To tell the truth I can’t make out
                    A single word.’

And it’s the same with others who
          Attempt to gab at me;
I listen to their point of view
          And solemnly agree.
To story stale and silly joke
          Stone deaf’s my ear;
Each day a dozen stupid folk
                    I fail to hear.

So silence that should be my grief
          Is my escape and shield;
From spiteful speech and base relief
          My aural sense is sealed.
And in my cosy cot of peace
          I close the door.
Praising the gods for rich relief
                    From fool and bore.

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