Three Wives
Robert William Service
Said Jones: “I’m glad my wife’s not clever;
Her intellect is second-rate.
If she was witty she would never
Give me a chance to scintillate;
But cap my humorous endeavour
And make me seem as addle-pate.”
Said Smith: “I’m glad my wife’s no beauty,
For if a siren’s charm she had,
And stinted her domestic duty,
I fear that she would drive me mad:
For I am one of those sad fellows
Who are unreasonably jealous.”
Said Brown: “”I know my wife’s not witty,
Nor is she very long on looks;
She’s neither humorous nor pretty,
But oh how she divinely cooks!
You guys must come some night to dinner—
You’ll see my little girl’s a winner.”
So it’s important in our lives,
(Exaggerating more or less),
To be content with our wives,
And prize the virtues they possess;
And with dispraise to turn one’s back
On all the qualities they lack.
