The Foolish Dictionary Words starting with S

SPRING : Formerly a very delightful season but now obsolete except in poetry and the Old Farmer's Almanac.
STARS : The greatest astronomers known, having studded the heavens for ages.
STAYS : A sort of straight-jacket employed in reforming women.
STOCKINGS : Woman's only savings for A Rainy Day.
STOCKS : An unreliable commodity bought and sold by gamblers. If you win, it's an investment; if you lose, a speculation.

STOVE-PIPE : A movable cylinder used as a receptacle for smoke and profanity.
SUBWAY : In Boston, a place where one may enjoy continuous disturbance of the peace, disorderly conduct, assault and battery, riot and rebellion. These events are allowed by law, and the entry-fee is five cents.
SUCCESS : A goal usually reached by those who employ their time in cultivating a more definite aim in life rather than in searching for a larger target.
SUMMER : An oppressive and expensive season invented by rural cottage and hotel owners, railroad and steamboat companies and the Iceman.
SUN : A yellow arrival from Way Down East, who goes west daily, operates a heating and lighting trust, draws water, prints pictures, develops crops, liquidates the ice business and tans skins on the side. Profits by his daily rays and always has a shine.

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