Meaning of Liff: ALBUQUERQUE to ARDSCULL
(Liff words collected: 550)
ALBUQUERQUE : (n.) A shapeless squiggle which is utterly unlike your normal signature, but which is, nevertheless, all you are able to produce when asked formally to identify yourself. Muslims, whose religion forbids the making of graven images, use albuquerques to decorate their towels, menu cards and pyjamas.
ALDCLUNE : (n.) One who collects ten-year-old telephone directories.
ALLTAMI : (n.) The ancient art of being able to balance the hot and cold shower taps.
AMBLESIDE : (n.) A talk given about the Facts of Life by a father to his son whilst walking in the garden on a Sunday afternoon.
AMERSHAM : (n.) The sneeze which tickles but never comes. (Thought to derive from the Metropolitan Line tube station of the same name where the rails always rattle but the train never arrives.)
AMLWCH : (n.) A British Rail sandwich which has been kept soft by being regularly washed and resealed in clingfilm.
ARAGLIN : (n. archaic) A medieval practical joke played by young squires on a knight aspirant the afternoon he is due to start his vigil. As the knight arrives at the castle the squires attempt to raise the drawbridge very suddenly as the knight and his charger step on to it.
ARDCRONY : (n.) A remote acquaintance passed off as 'a very good friend of mine' by someone trying to impress people.
ARDSCALPSIE : (n.) Excuse made by rural Welsh hairdresser for completely massacring your hair.
ARDSCULL : (n.) Excuse made by rural Welsh hairdresser for deep wounds inflicted on your scalp in an attempt to rectify whatever it was that induced the ardscalpsie (q.v.).
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