Jokes : One Liners

Courage is your greatest present need.
Creativity is the art of concealing your sources.
Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.
Dain bramaged.
Daylight savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

Death and taxes are inevitable; at least death doesn't get worse every year.
Death is an acquired trait.
Death is hereditary.
Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'.

Next : Department of Redundancy Department, Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?, Diarrhea is hereditary, it runs in your jeans., Did monkeys invent the monkey wrench ?, Did Noah keep his bees in archives?, Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window., Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?, Did you hear about the duck who went into the drugstore? He told the pharmacist, Give me some chapstick and put it on my bill ., Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to santa?, Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp? He bought a warehouse.
Previous : Comedy, like Medicine, was never meant to be practiced by the general public., Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are., Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes., Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion., Confusius say: He who drop watch in toilet, have shitty time., Confusius say: He who smoke pot, choke on handle., Confusius say: Man who board plane sideways going to Bangkok., Conserve toilet paper, use both sides., Constant use will wear out anything... especially friends., Contrary to popular belief Tattoos are not permanent. They usually rot away a few days after you die.
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