Jokes : One Liners

Hire the handicapped. They're fun to watch.
His home is free of mice and cockroaches -- they refuse to live in the same place as him.
History does not repeat itself, -- historians merely repeat each other.
Honesty is like an icicle; once it melts, that's the end of it.
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Horton actually heard the Who, but Dr. Suess was afraid that his sales would slip if parents thought he condoned rock music.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
How can there be self-help groups ?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Next : How come wrong numbers are never busy?, How do people plead insanity? Who's gonna believe a crazy person? -Richard Guindon, How do you get off a non-stop flight?, How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?, How do you write zero in Roman numerals?, How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?, How Long is a Chinese man... How Long is his name., How many people do you know who have actually READ their entire insurance policy and are prepared to discuss it intelligently? -Richard Guindon, Humpty Dumpty was pushed!, Hypochondria is the one disease I have not got.
Previous : Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply., Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!, HELP! The paranoids are after me., He's as sharp as a beach ball., He's dead Jim! Quick, you grab his tricoder, I'll grab his wallet., He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged., Hidden DOS secret : add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS, Hindsight shows you how a mistake looks from the rear., Hire a teenage while they still know everything,, Hire people with hooks. -National Lampoon's Deteriorota
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