Jokes : One Liners

Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
HELP! The paranoids are after me.
He's as sharp as a beach ball.
He's dead Jim! Quick, you grab his tricoder, I'll grab his wallet.

He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
Hidden DOS secret : add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
Hindsight shows you how a mistake looks from the rear.
Hire a teenage while they still know everything,
Hire people with hooks. -National Lampoon's Deteriorota

Next : Hire the handicapped. They're fun to watch., His home is free of mice and cockroaches -- they refuse to live in the same place as him., History does not repeat itself, -- historians merely repeat each other., Honesty is like an icicle; once it melts, that's the end of it., Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense., Honk if you love peace and quiet., Horton actually heard the Who, but Dr. Suess was afraid that his sales would slip if parents thought he condoned rock music., How can I miss you if you won't go away?, How can there be self-help groups ?, How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Previous : He who uses bad language is an ignorant schmuck., Heads I win, tails you lose..., Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die., Heat causes things to expand. Thus, in summer the days are longer., Heisenberg may have been here., Helen Waite is our credit manager. If you want credit, go to Helen Waite., He'll never go where He's told until he dies., Hello. You have reached the Coalition to Eliminate Answering Machines. Unfortunately, no one can come to the phone right now...., Help stamp out and abolish redundancy!, Help support helpless victims of computer error.
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