Jokes : One Liners

I have just discovered the truth, and can't understand why everybody isn't eager to hear it. -Ashleigh Brilliant
I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
I have seen the truth, and it makes no sense!
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock ever other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

I is a college student.
I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?
I just hope God grades on a curve.
I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.
I know somewere inside of me there is a sober man trying to get out. A six pack usually shuts him up.

Next : I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff., I laugh in the face of danger, then I hide until it goes away., I learned French in six easy liasons., I like cats, they taste like chicken., I like the open road, but not the open plumbing., I like to go down to the dog pound and pretend that I've found my dog. Then I tell them to kill it anyway because I already gave away all of his stuff. Dog people sure don't have a sense of humor., I love cats ... they taste just like chicken., I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by., I majored in Liberal Arts. Will that be for here or to go?, I majored in Liberal Arts. Would you like fries with that?
Previous : I drive this way to piss you off., I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe, I feel much better, now that I've given up hope. -Ashleigh Brilliant, I fell sorry for people who don't drink. When they get up in the morning that's as good as they're gonna feel all day., I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!, I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory., I had an hour glass figure, but unfortunately the sand shifted., I hate graffiti. In fact, I hate all Italian food., I hate public opinion. Ask anyone., I have a theory that it's impossible to prove anything, but I can't prove it. -Ashleigh Brilliant
Index : Sanjeev.NET : Trivia