Jokes : One Liners

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
If cars had followed the same developmental path as computers, a Rolls Royce would cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
If everything seems to be going right, you've obviously overlooked something.

If fire-fighters fight fires, what do Freedom Fighters do?
If fortification means a very large fort, why doesn't ratification mean a very large rat?
If God had intended for us to run around naked, he would have made our skin fit better. -Maureen Murphy
If god had wanted us in the army he would have given us green baggy skin.
If I can survive death, I can probably survive anything. -Ashleigh Brilliant

Next : If I didn't have to work so hard, I'd have more time to be depressed. -Ashleigh Brilliant, If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms., If idiots could fly This place would be an airport., If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today., If it wasn't for my faults, I'd be perfect., If it wasn't for venetian blinds it would be curtains for us all., If it's raining, this must be a weekend., If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like? If you lick the air, does it get wet?, If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?, If Mama Cass had given Karen Carpenter half of that ham sandwich they would both be alive today.
Previous : If all the world's a stage, I want more props!, If Anita Bryant married Moby Dick... her name would be?, If anything can go wrong, it will., If at first you don't fricasee, fry, fry, a hen., If at first you don't succeed, buy her another beer!, If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried., If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you., If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?, If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tellers?, If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
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