Jokes : One Liners

The rich are nothing but poor people with Yachts.
The road to to success is always under construction.
The saddest moment in a person's life comes but once.
The Schizophrenic: an unauthorized autobiography
The secret of returning from Las Vegas with a small fortune is to take a large fortune with you.

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
The square root of 5 is 2 for small values of 5.
The statement below is true.

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The statement above is false.
The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

Next : The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first., The time for action is past! Now is the time for senseless bickering! -Ashleigh Brilliant, The town was so small the only way to get there was on a Lionel Train., The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was., The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you realize it's a do-it-yourself thing., The trouble with some self-made men is that they worship their creator., The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing (and then they marry him.), The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity., The Universe is a figment of its own imagination., The wind is like the air, only pushier.
Previous : The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it., The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true., The other night during dinner my brother told a joke and I laughed so hard that milk shot out my nose. The creepy part is that I wasn't drinking milk. - Dave George, The ozone layer or cheese in a spray can... Don't make me choose., The Pentagon is a building with four walls and a spare., The perfect gift for people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord., The person who spends all of today bragging about what he is going to accomplish tomorrow probably did the very same thing yesterday., The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no dick., The problem with getting a life is making the payments., The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
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