Jokes : One Liners

This year, World Standards Day was October 14. In the US, the day was marked on October 11. -Annals of Improbable Research
Those of you who think you know everything are annoying those of us who do.
Those who can't write, write help files.
Those who can't write, write manuals.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Those who think it's tough to make a living as a writer of fiction have obviously never cheated on their income tax.
Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

Next : Time wounds all heals., To any truly impartial person, it would be obvious that I am always right. -Ashleigh Brilliant, To be, or not to be, those are the parameters., To die penniless... is either perfect timing, or a hell of a budget!, To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer., To err is human; to admit it is not., To err is human; to admit it, superhuman., Today is the last day of your life so far., Today's youth are tomorrow's old people., Tonight's weather: Dark with continued darkness until dawn.
Previous : Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the biggest number you could come up with!, THINK! Maybe we can dodge this work., This is a good time to punt work., This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it., This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay on your land., This morning I woke up to the unmistakable scent of pigs in a blanket. That's the price you pay for letting the relatives stay over., This place looks like the wizard of oz on mesciline., This sentence no verb., This skeleton goes into a bar, and asks for a beer and a mop..., This won't hurt, I promise.
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