Jokes : One Liners

2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
24 hours in a day... 24 beers in a case... coincidence?
24 hours in a day...24 Diet Cokes in a case...coincidence?
5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
667, Neighbor of the Devil.

78.2% of all statistics are meaningless.
90% of being smart, is knowing what you're dumb at.
95% of the Fords made in the last year are still on the road, 5% made it home.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A bird in the hand is safer than two overhead.

Next : A broken heart is better than a shattered pelvis., A camel is a horse designed by committee. A brontosaurus is a salamander designed to Mil-Spec., A city in Alaska passed a law outlawing all dogs. It became known as Dogless Fairbanks., A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer., A closed mouth gathers no feet., A closed mouth gathers no foot in the ass., A collision at sea can ruin your entire day., A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history--with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila., A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord., A day without fusion is like a day without sunshine.
Previous : Your photographs do you an injustice. They all look like you!, You're driving me Nucking Futs!, You're not getting older, you're getting ancient., You're only young once, but you can be immature forever., You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter., Youth and skill are no match for experience and treachery.
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