Jokes : One Liners

A day without sunshine is like night.
A fine is tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
A friend is someone who will help you move your furniture. A real friend is someone who will help you move a body.
A friend of mine confused her vallium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't give a shit.
A good day is when you wake up without a chalk outline around your body.

A handy telephone tip: Keep a small chalkboard near the phone. That way, when a salesman calls, you can hold the receiver up to it and run your fingernails across it until he hangs up.
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the long face?
A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.

Next : A key ring is a handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once., A king's castle is his home., A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available., A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her., A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride., A man should live forever...or die trying., A man's idea of honesty in a relationship is telling you his real name., A meeting is an event where minutes are taken and hours wasted, A nose by any other name would smell as sweet., A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.
Previous : A broken heart is better than a shattered pelvis., A camel is a horse designed by committee. A brontosaurus is a salamander designed to Mil-Spec., A city in Alaska passed a law outlawing all dogs. It became known as Dogless Fairbanks., A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer., A closed mouth gathers no feet., A closed mouth gathers no foot in the ass., A collision at sea can ruin your entire day., A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history--with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila., A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord., A day without fusion is like a day without sunshine.
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