Jokes : One Liners

A tornado is just nature's way of saying Up Yours .
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's printed on.
A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
A wise farmer never milks a bull.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
A woman should be obscene and not heard.
Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah na!

Next : According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist., Advertising is just telling lies to attract shoplifters., Advise is Cheap, because supply always exceeds demand., After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?, After only one Karate lesson I can break boards with my cast., Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill., Agree with me now: it will save so much time. -Ashleigh Brilliant, Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive., Alcoholics Alias is a group in which you continue to drink, but under an assumed name., All computers wait at the same speed.
Previous : A penny saved is ridiculous., A picture is worth a thousand words, but try saying that with a picture., A picture may be worth a thousand words, but they may not be the right thousand words., A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with. And a conjunction is a bad thing to begin a sentence with., A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep., A recent poll found that 50% of all lawyers graduated in the bottom half of their class., A Smith & Wesson beats four aces., A stone was placed at a ford in a river with the inscription: When this stone is covered it is dangerous to ford here., A stranger is just a friend you don't know, A successful man is a clod just like you who worked harder.
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