Jokes : One Liners

Don't think of it as thousands of dollars of your hard-earned money. Think of it as a screwdriver for the military.
Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it.
DOS Tip #17 : Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
Draft beer, not people!
Drive defensively -- buy a tank.

Drop kick me, Jesus, through the goal-posts of life
Due to the current economic situation, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off until further notice.
During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because you were just going down to the corner.
Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
E Pluribus Modem

Next : E. Coli Happens, Each day I try to enjoy something from each of the four food groups: the bonbon group, the salty-snack group, the caffeine group, and the thing-in-tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge group., Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines., Earn cash in your spare time -- blackmail friends., EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later., Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway., Education Kills by degrees!, Elvis is dead. Give it up!, E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage., Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
Previous : Don't do it if you can't keep it up., Don't drop acid. Take it pass/fail., Don't eat with your mouth full., Don't force it, get a larger hammer., Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon., Don't knock on Death's door. Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that..., Don't look at me in that tone of voice!, Don't look back, they might be gaining on you., Don't make a fool out of me - I'm doing OK by myself!, Don't think of it as overwhelming numbers, think of it as a wide selection of targets.
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