Jokes : One Liners

Having a no smoking section in a restaurant is like having a no peeing section in a swimming pool.
He has a small piece of brain lodged in his skull
He lived his life to the end.
He turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed.
He was such a poor sailor tht he got seasick at the sight of salt water taffy.

He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
He who laughs last thinks slowest
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
He who laughs, lasts.
He who puts his nose to the grindstone is a bloody fool.

Next : He who uses bad language is an ignorant schmuck., Heads I win, tails you lose..., Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die., Heat causes things to expand. Thus, in summer the days are longer., Heisenberg may have been here., Helen Waite is our credit manager. If you want credit, go to Helen Waite., He'll never go where He's told until he dies., Hello. You have reached the Coalition to Eliminate Answering Machines. Unfortunately, no one can come to the phone right now...., Help stamp out and abolish redundancy!, Help support helpless victims of computer error.
Previous : Hannibal crossed the Alps with elephants but none of the offspring survived. --MAD magazine, circa 1960, Happiness is a belt-fed weapon, Happiness is a positive cash flow., Happiness is merely the remission of pain., Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling., Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's face on a milk carton., Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now !, Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?, Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster is a maniac., Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?
Index : Sanjeev.NET : Trivia