Jokes : One Liners

He who uses bad language is an ignorant schmuck.
Heads I win, tails you lose...
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Heat causes things to expand. Thus, in summer the days are longer.
Heisenberg may have been here.

Helen Waite is our credit manager. If you want credit, go to Helen Waite.
He'll never go where He's told until he dies.
Hello. You have reached the Coalition to Eliminate Answering Machines. Unfortunately, no one can come to the phone right now....
Help stamp out and abolish redundancy!
Help support helpless victims of computer error.

Next : Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply., Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!, HELP! The paranoids are after me., He's as sharp as a beach ball., He's dead Jim! Quick, you grab his tricoder, I'll grab his wallet., He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged., Hidden DOS secret : add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS, Hindsight shows you how a mistake looks from the rear., Hire a teenage while they still know everything,, Hire people with hooks. -National Lampoon's Deteriorota
Previous : Having a no smoking section in a restaurant is like having a no peeing section in a swimming pool., He has a small piece of brain lodged in his skull, He lived his life to the end., He turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed., He was such a poor sailor tht he got seasick at the sight of salt water taffy., He who hesitates is sometimes saved., He who laughs last thinks slowest, He who laughs last, thinks slowest., He who laughs, lasts., He who puts his nose to the grindstone is a bloody fool.
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