Jokes : One Liners

I don't know what your problem is, But I bet it's hard to pronounce.
I don't repeat gossip. So listen carefully...
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
I don't take drugs - I'm not even an athlete.

I don't think so, therefore I'm probably not. - Alan Smithee
I don't think you can really know how heavy something is until it has fallen on you. - LeMel Hebert-Williams
I don't think, therefore I am not.
I don't understand you. You don't understand me. What else do we have in common? -Ashleigh Brilliant
I don't use Listerine. They say it kills germs on contact and I don't like the idea of things dying in my mouth.

Next : I drive this way to piss you off., I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe, I feel much better, now that I've given up hope. -Ashleigh Brilliant, I fell sorry for people who don't drink. When they get up in the morning that's as good as they're gonna feel all day., I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!, I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory., I had an hour glass figure, but unfortunately the sand shifted., I hate graffiti. In fact, I hate all Italian food., I hate public opinion. Ask anyone., I have a theory that it's impossible to prove anything, but I can't prove it. -Ashleigh Brilliant
Previous : I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either., I can resist everything except temptation., I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit., I can tell you're lying. Your lips are moving., I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder., I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables. So many channels. . . So little choice., I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian., I don't believe in astrology. But then I'm an Aquarius, and Aquarians don't believe in astrology. - James R. F. Quirk, Portland, ME, I don't care about Y2K. Guess you could call me Y2K complacent., I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
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