Jokes : One Liners

I'd rather have lobsters on my piano than crabs on my organ
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If a donkey is an ass and a sheep is a ram, how come a ram in the ass is a goose?
If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?

If a pig loses its voice, does it become disgruntled?
If a turtle didn't have a shell, would it be considered homeless?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

Next : If all the world's a stage, I want more props!, If Anita Bryant married Moby Dick... her name would be?, If anything can go wrong, it will., If at first you don't fricasee, fry, fry, a hen., If at first you don't succeed, buy her another beer!, If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried., If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you., If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?, If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tellers?, If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
Previous : I work very hard Please don't expect me to think as well. -Ashleigh Brilliant, I would have e-mailed you sooner, but my cat ate my mouse., I would have to say that my favorite movie of all time is Annie. I especially love the part where DeNiro plays Russian Roulette in the VC prison camp. Wait, that was The Deer Hunter ... Oh, what the hell -- I love 'em both! - Dave George, I wouldn't be paranoid if everyone didn't pick on me., IBM: You can buy better, but you can't pay more., I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode., I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous., I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice., I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?, I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
Index : Sanjeev.NET : Trivia