Jokes : One Liners

If she's still ugly, have another beer.
If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide & seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If something doesn't absolutely, positively have to be there tomorrow, you can always hang on to it until it does.
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
If there was a bi-sexual pride parade, would it go both ways?
If they discover mother's milk causes cancer, where are they gonna put the warning?
If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

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