Jokes : One Liners

If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.
If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started.
If we learn by our mistakes then I am getting a fantastic education.

If we weren't meant to juggle, tennis balls wouldn't come three to a can.
If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

Next : If you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, you're probably heading the wrong way., If you can't convince them, confuse them., If you can't Dazzle them with Brilliance Baffle them with Bullshit., If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?, If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly. -Ashleigh Brilliant, If you die on an elevator, be sure to press the UP button., If you do what you have always done, You will get what you have always gotten., If you don't change your direction, you may end up where you were headed., If you don't have someone tracking you down you haven't exhausted your credit options., If you don't let me make you happy, I'll make you suffer. -Ashleigh Brilliant
Previous : If she's still ugly, have another beer., If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide & seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?, If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?, If something doesn't absolutely, positively have to be there tomorrow, you can always hang on to it until it does., If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?, If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?, If the shoe fits, get another one just like it., If there was a bi-sexual pride parade, would it go both ways?, If they discover mother's milk causes cancer, where are they gonna put the warning?, If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
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