Jokes : One Liners

If your only tool is a hammer, all your problems start to look like nails.
If your parents didn't have children, chances are you won't either.
If you're always right, something's wrong.
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
If you're not part of the solution, be part of the problem!

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
If you've enjoyed this half as much as I have, then I've enjoyed this twice as much as you.
I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bag pipes. - George Carlin
I'll stop procrastinating tommorow.
Illegitimum non carborundum

Next : Illiterate? Write for free information., I'm a member of the immoral minority., I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar!, I'm at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk...., I'm convinced that in a past life I was somebody named Occupant, and they're still forwarding my mail., I'm defending her honor, which is more than she ever did., I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets., I'm in love with a girl who doesn't even know I'm alive. She's thinks she got me with her long range rifle, but she missed. - Jonathan Colan, I'm not as dumb as you look., I'm not as think as you drunk I am
Previous : If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?, If you think the problem is bad now. . . just wait until we've solved it., If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody., If you throw a kitten out the window does it become Kitty Litter?, If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?, If you took all the students who fall asleep in class and lined them up end to end, they'd be a lot more comfortable., If you took an IQ test, the results would be negative., If you were to strangle a Smurf, what color would it turn?, If you were to sweep me off my feet.......you would have to be a broom., If you would lift me, you must be on higher ground.
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