Jokes : One Liners

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I'm a member of the immoral minority.
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar!
I'm at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk....
I'm convinced that in a past life I was somebody named Occupant, and they're still forwarding my mail.

I'm defending her honor, which is more than she ever did.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
I'm in love with a girl who doesn't even know I'm alive. She's thinks she got me with her long range rifle, but she missed. - Jonathan Colan
I'm not as dumb as you look.
I'm not as think as you drunk I am

Next : I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain., Im not mad about my keys... I lost my bottle opener., I'm not myself today, maybe I'm you., I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?, I'm out of sick leave, so I called in dead., I'm the person you're mother always warned you about., In Canada there are two Seasons... six months of winter and six months of poor snowmobiling., In god we trust. All others pay cash., In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H's as O's., In order to keep an open mind, I am trying to avoid learning anything.
Previous : If your only tool is a hammer, all your problems start to look like nails., If your parents didn't have children, chances are you won't either., If you're always right, something's wrong., If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?, If you're not part of the solution, be part of the problem!, If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate., If you've enjoyed this half as much as I have, then I've enjoyed this twice as much as you., I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bag pipes. - George Carlin, I'll stop procrastinating tommorow., Illegitimum non carborundum
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