Jokes : One Liners

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Im not mad about my keys... I lost my bottle opener.
I'm not myself today, maybe I'm you.
I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
I'm out of sick leave, so I called in dead.

I'm the person you're mother always warned you about.
In Canada there are two Seasons... six months of winter and six months of poor snowmobiling.
In god we trust. All others pay cash.
In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H's as O's.
In order to keep an open mind, I am trying to avoid learning anything.

Next : In the city today the temperature rose to 180 degrees. This sudden rise of temperature was responsible for the intolerable heat., In the field of observation, chance favors only the prepared minds., In the gloom they told me cheer up, it could be worse. They were right - I did and it was., Indecision is the key to flexibility., Indecision may or may not be my problem., Inform all troops that communications have completely broken down. -Ashleigh Brilliant, Inner Peace Through Materialism., Insanity is hereditary. Parents get it from their kids., Insanity is one mind working in two different directions at once., Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
Previous : Illiterate? Write for free information., I'm a member of the immoral minority., I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar!, I'm at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk...., I'm convinced that in a past life I was somebody named Occupant, and they're still forwarding my mail., I'm defending her honor, which is more than she ever did., I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets., I'm in love with a girl who doesn't even know I'm alive. She's thinks she got me with her long range rifle, but she missed. - Jonathan Colan, I'm not as dumb as you look., I'm not as think as you drunk I am
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