Jokes : One Liners

Love your enemies. At least they don't try to borrow money from you. -Leonard Louis Levinson
Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
Lunatic Asylum: The place where optimism most flourishes.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Male zebras have white stripes, but female zebras have black stripes.
Marble is a valuable building material and should not be taken for granite.
Mary Poppins has moved to L.A. where she has opened a fortune-telling stand, specializing in predicting future bad breath. The sign outside reads: Super California Mystic - Expert: Halitosis.
Math illiteracy affects eight out of every five people.
Mathematics is 10% inspiration ...and 99% perspiration.

Next : May you live as long as you want to, and want to as long as you live., Maybe we should elect officials not for what they stand for, but for what they don't stand for., Meanwhile, back at the ranch, tension mounted... and rode off., Meanwhile, back at the ranch, there was a tap at the window... ...What a silly place to put a tap., Medicine is like advise, easy to give, hard to take., Mediocrity thrives on standardization., Men are like diapers: always full of shit., Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay., Microsoft is to software what McDonalds is to gourmet cooking, Mind over matter... if you don't mind it doesn't matter.
Previous : Lived here all your life? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Not yet., Look out for #1. Don't step in #2 either., Lorena Bobbit for Surgeon General., Love comes in spurts., Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics., Love is like a roller coaster: when it's good you don't want to get off, and when it isn't... you can't wait to throw up., Love is like bird. When you least expect it, it craps in your face., Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another., Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence., Love means nothing to a tennis player.
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