Jokes : One Liners

May you live as long as you want to, and want to as long as you live.
Maybe we should elect officials not for what they stand for, but for what they don't stand for.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, tension mounted... and rode off.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, there was a tap at the window... ...What a silly place to put a tap.
Medicine is like advise, easy to give, hard to take.

Mediocrity thrives on standardization.
Men are like diapers: always full of shit.
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
Microsoft is to software what McDonalds is to gourmet cooking
Mind over matter... if you don't mind it doesn't matter.

Next : Minds are like parachutes; they only work when they are open., Modesty is one of my more outstanding qualities., Money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours., Money can't buy happiness... But it sure makes misery easier to live with., Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it., Money can't buy you happiness, but it can take you a long way from misery., Money is the root of all evil, and a man needs roots., Montana --- At least our cows are sane!, MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team., Morning has broken. Call the repairman.
Previous : Love your enemies. At least they don't try to borrow money from you. -Leonard Louis Levinson, Love your neighbor, but don't get caught., Lunatic Asylum: The place where optimism most flourishes., Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change., Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot., Male zebras have white stripes, but female zebras have black stripes., Marble is a valuable building material and should not be taken for granite., Mary Poppins has moved to L.A. where she has opened a fortune-telling stand, specializing in predicting future bad breath. The sign outside reads: Super California Mystic - Expert: Halitosis., Math illiteracy affects eight out of every five people., Mathematics is 10% inspiration ...and 99% perspiration.
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