Jokes : One Liners

Minds are like parachutes; they only work when they are open.
Modesty is one of my more outstanding qualities.
Money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours.
Money can't buy happiness... But it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can take you a long way from misery.
Money is the root of all evil, and a man needs roots.
Montana --- At least our cows are sane!
MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team.
Morning has broken. Call the repairman.

Next : Most of my faults are not my fault. -Ashleigh Brilliant, Multitasking - screwing up several things at once., Murphy was an optimist., My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee - the natural enemy of a tightrope walker., My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy., My inferiority complex is not as good as yours., My kid had sex with your honor student., My parents were so poor they got married for the rice., My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure., My reality check bounced!
Previous : May you live as long as you want to, and want to as long as you live., Maybe we should elect officials not for what they stand for, but for what they don't stand for., Meanwhile, back at the ranch, tension mounted... and rode off., Meanwhile, back at the ranch, there was a tap at the window... ...What a silly place to put a tap., Medicine is like advise, easy to give, hard to take., Mediocrity thrives on standardization., Men are like diapers: always full of shit., Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay., Microsoft is to software what McDonalds is to gourmet cooking, Mind over matter... if you don't mind it doesn't matter.
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