Jokes : One Liners

Most of my faults are not my fault. -Ashleigh Brilliant
Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.
Murphy was an optimist.
My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee - the natural enemy of a tightrope walker.
My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
My kid had sex with your honor student.
My parents were so poor they got married for the rice.
My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.
My reality check bounced!

Next : My sister used to work for the government, but now she has seniority., My software never has bugs. It just develops random features., My son the alchemist he turns gold into drek., My uncle got a job as a diamond cutter. When I asked him where he works, he said I mow the lawn at Yankee Stadium., My wife keeps complaining that I never listen to her... or something like that., My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth--that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally--but I didn't want to upset him., Nebraska, Gateway to Arkansas., Necessity is a mother., Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again., Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry. - Proverb
Previous : Minds are like parachutes; they only work when they are open., Modesty is one of my more outstanding qualities., Money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours., Money can't buy happiness... But it sure makes misery easier to live with., Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it., Money can't buy you happiness, but it can take you a long way from misery., Money is the root of all evil, and a man needs roots., Montana --- At least our cows are sane!, MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team., Morning has broken. Call the repairman.
Index : Sanjeev.NET : Trivia