Jokes : One Liners

Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to make it complex and wonderful.
Never meddle in the affairs of Wizards: it makes them soggy and hard to light.
Never moon a werewolf.
Never pass a snow plow on the right.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can easily do the day after.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can forget about entirely.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Never say no.
Never sell a bear skin before catching the bear.
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

Next : Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog., Never trust a computer bigger than you can lift., Never trust anyone who always tells the truth., Never try to guess your wife's size. Just buy her anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt., Never underestimate the power of human stupidity., Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do., Never use a preposition to end a sentence with., Never void where prohibited., Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it., News Flash: Microsoft acquires Electrolux, makes extensive design revisions. Finally releases a product that doesn't suck.
Previous : Never argue with a fool. He may be doing the same thing., Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested., Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience., Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, they don't hurt anybody. When they do something is when they become dangerous., Never call a man a fool; borrow from him., Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight., Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat., Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with something bigger and heavier., Never lick a gift horse in the mouth., Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
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