Jokes : One Liners

No amount of advance planning will ever replace dumb luck.
Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore. It's too crowded.
Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m.!
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse.
Obviously you are unable to assimilate my stimulating concepts into your blighted and retarded world view.
Oedipus was a nervous rex.

Next : Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most., Of the choice of two evils, I pick the one I've never tried before., Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?, Old accountants never die - they just lose their balance., Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement., Old poker players never die, they just cash in their chips., Old soldiers never die. Young ones do., On the keyboard of life always keep one finger on the escape key., On the other hand, Rome was burnt in a day., On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Previous : Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog., Never trust a computer bigger than you can lift., Never trust anyone who always tells the truth., Never try to guess your wife's size. Just buy her anything marked petite and hold on to the receipt., Never underestimate the power of human stupidity., Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do., Never use a preposition to end a sentence with., Never void where prohibited., Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it., News Flash: Microsoft acquires Electrolux, makes extensive design revisions. Finally releases a product that doesn't suck.
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