Jokes : One Liners

On the surface, it appears that very little is happening... but underneath, NOTHING is happening.
Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it will make it worse.
Once, I wept for I had no shoes. Then I came upon a man who had no feet. So I took his shoes. I mean, it's not like he really needed them, right?
One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.
One good turn gets most of the blankets.

One pound of learning requires ten pounds of common sense to apply it.
One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
Only the good die young, and only the young die good.
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of bleeding, he sings.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Next : Out of my mind... Back in five minutes., Outside every thin person, there is a fat person trying to get in., Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Mark, Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too., Patience will come to one who waits for it. - Richard Lauterback Moffett Naval Air Station, CA, People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs., People don't change; they only become more so., People don't judge your generosity by the amount of Advise you give away., People have one thing in common: they are all different., People look at you kind of funny when you walk down the street naked with a gun.
Previous : Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most., Of the choice of two evils, I pick the one I've never tried before., Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?, Old accountants never die - they just lose their balance., Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement., Old poker players never die, they just cash in their chips., Old soldiers never die. Young ones do., On the keyboard of life always keep one finger on the escape key., On the other hand, Rome was burnt in a day., On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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