Jokes : One Liners

Out of my mind... Back in five minutes.
Outside every thin person, there is a fat person trying to get in.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Mark
Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.
Patience will come to one who waits for it. - Richard Lauterback Moffett Naval Air Station, CA
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
People don't change; they only become more so.
People don't judge your generosity by the amount of Advise you give away.
People have one thing in common: they are all different.
People look at you kind of funny when you walk down the street naked with a gun.
Next : People usually deserve each other, People usually get what's coming to them... unless it was mailed., People who ask Can I ask you a question? really piss me off. Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?, People who live in grass houses shouldn't be stoned., People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glass., People who point at their wrist while asking for the time really piss me off. I know where my watch is buddy, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?, People who push both elevator buttons should get their wish., People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first., People will believe anything if you whisper it., People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
Previous : On the surface, it appears that very little is happening... but underneath, NOTHING is happening., Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it will make it worse., Once, I wept for I had no shoes. Then I came upon a man who had no feet. So I took his shoes. I mean, it's not like he really needed them, right?, One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe., One good turn gets most of the blankets., One pound of learning requires ten pounds of common sense to apply it., One seventh of your life is spent on Monday., Only the good die young, and only the young die good., Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of bleeding, he sings., Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
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