Jokes : One Liners

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.
Some people cause happiness wherever they go; Others, whenever they go.
Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.
Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.
Sooner or later you must pay for your sins. Those who have already paid may disregard this message.
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

Next : Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman., Start off every day with a smile and get it over with., Stay away from hurricanes for a while., Sterility is hereditary., Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me., STMP T VWLS, Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!, Stupid mistakes are made by others. We only make unavoidable errors., Stupidity is self-correcting., Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
Previous : Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips, Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips., Smile. . . tomorrow will be worse., Smile.... It confuses people!, Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface., So I said to my wife with the wooden leg. Hey peg you stumped me., So you're a feminist... Isn't that cute., Some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue., Some grow with responsibility, others just swell., Some men are discovered; others are found out.
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