Jokes : One Liners

The impossible we do at once. The unimaginable takes three to five business days
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. - Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxiy
The major cause of auto wrecks is a screw loose in the nut behind the wheel.
The management of this establishment is not responsible.

The moon is a planet just like the Earth, only deader.
The more I get to know people, the better I like animals.
The more I miss it, the meaner I get!!
The more people I meet The more I like my dog.
The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

Next : The name is Baud......, James Baud., The new IRS motto: We've got what it takes to take what you have got., The New York state bird should be the mosquito., The odds are a million to one against my being one in a million. -Ashleigh Brilliant, The offices were very nice, and the clients were only raping the land, and then, of course, there was the money.., The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy., The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep., The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth., The only one who ever got anything done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe., The only problem we have in this city is the secret police. If there is any gambling, narcotics, or prostitution, it's a secret to them.
Previous : The devil finds work for idle glands., The difference between intelligence and stupidity is that intelligence has a limit., The easiest way to refold a road map is differently., The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant., The floggings will continue until morale 'improves'., The geek shall inherit the earth., The gene pool could use a little chlorine., The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but when you get over there you find out it has to be mowed., The grave of Karl Marx is just another communist plot., The idea is to die young as late as possible.
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