Jokes : One Liners

Trust me, I'm a professional.
Trust no one in times of crisis.
T-shirt in the 21st century - Disco still sucks
Turn right ... no, turn left ... no, turn straight!
Two out of three ain't bad.

Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted.
Two wrongs don't make a right but three lefts do.
Two's company. Three's an orgy.
Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
Unless you're the lead dog, your view doesn't change.

Next : V.P. Dan Quayle thought that Roe vs. Wade is an argument over alternative ways to cross the Potomac River., Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes., Virtual reality is its own reward., Visualize whirled peas., Warning : Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear., WARNING: prosecuters will be violated., Wasting time is an important part of life., Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south., We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse., We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Previous : Time wounds all heals., To any truly impartial person, it would be obvious that I am always right. -Ashleigh Brilliant, To be, or not to be, those are the parameters., To die penniless... is either perfect timing, or a hell of a budget!, To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer., To err is human; to admit it is not., To err is human; to admit it, superhuman., Today is the last day of your life so far., Today's youth are tomorrow's old people., Tonight's weather: Dark with continued darkness until dawn.
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