Jokes : One Liners

When a man wants to believe something, it doesn't take much to convince him.
When all else fails, read the directions.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
When all other means of communication fail, try words. -Ashleigh Brilliant
When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to bruise the fruit of the vine. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
When God created man, she was only kidding.
When I die, I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.
When I go to heaven, I want to see my grandpa again. But he better have lost the nose hair and the old-man smell.
When I hear on the news about someone being killed execution style, it makes me wonder what other styles there are. - Blair Bostick

Next : When I was growing up, we were so poor that when I asked my father for something to play with, he cut a hole in my pants pocket., When in doubt, don't bother., When in doubt, ignore it., When in doubt, mumble., When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting., When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?, When society looks towards the lavatory for its humor, the writing is on the walls., When something is new and improved , which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it., When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty., When the going gets tough, the tough use duct tape.
Previous : What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?, What makes Teflon stick to the pan?, What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick., WHATDOYOUMEANITALKSOFAST?, Whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Milwaukee. -National Lampoon's Deteriorota, What's the deal with ejection seats on helicopters?, What's worth doing is worth doing for money., When a cow laughs, does milk come out of its nose?, When a habit begins to cost money it is called a hobby., When a lion escapes from a circus in Africa, how do they know when they've caught the right one? - George Carlin
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